Category Archives: Humor

What’s in Your Tampon? It’s Time to Detox the Box. Period.

  By Donna DeForbes | May 29, 2014 - 5:00 am | ,
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Remember Justin Timberlake’s Dick in a Box music video from Saturday Night Live? Women’s Voices for the Earth spoofed it. But instead of presents, it’s toxic chemicals in pads and tampons.

Studies have shown that commonly used menstrual pads and tampons contain dioxins, pesticide residues and chemicals with names like methyleugenol and tonalide — many of which have been linked to hormone disruption and cancer.

Click the image below to watch the video, and then tell Tampax and Always to drop the toxins and list all their ingredients!

detox-the-box

Meme Thursday #1

  By Donna DeForbes | February 13, 2014 - 5:00 am | ,
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So I’ve decided to venture into the world of memes… This gives me a break from writing content while still providing you with something interesting. My meme focus will run the gamut from environment to parenting to just plain funny. This one came straight from the mouth of my five-year-old daughter.

Feel free to share via Facebook and other social media outlets. Going viral is fun!

meme-ape

 

 

Downton Abbey Season 4: The Crunchy Green Version

  By Donna DeForbes | January 14, 2014 - 5:00 am |
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I’m a Downton Abbey fan in the throes of Season 4. But from my position entrenched in the green movement, I sometimes find it hard to wrap my head around their aristocratic and often excessive lifestyle. Which got me to thinking:

What would it look like if Downton Abbey became crunchy?

green-downton-abbey

  • In an effort to reduce their footprint, the family would reside in just a few rooms (changing the name to Downton Cottage). They’d convert the rest of the abbey to greenhouse space for growing vegetables to feed the town.
  • Lady Mary and Lady Edith would wear only ethically manufactured dresses in organic fabrics. Their accessories would come from secondhand shops or upcycled household items.
  • Lord Grantham would stubbornly refuse to replace his daily newspaper with the tree-friendly e-version.
  • Mrs. Patmore and Daisy would each have a unique role in the kitchen duties. One would cook for the vegan members of the family. The other would cook for the gluten-free Paleo eaters.
  • Carson would suffer the indignity of wearing a suit made of hemp, and he would be repurposed as the Caretaker of Downton Composting and Recycling.
  • Lady Grantham would trade in her baths for more water-conserving showers.
  • Lord Grantham would stubbornly refuse to invest in energy-saving solar panels and a vegetated roof. monsanto-with-bates
  • Thomas’ backstabbing would involve sneaking high fructose corn syrup into Lady Grantham’s chamomile tea and revealing Bates as a former executive of Monsanto.
  • Branson would wear baby Sybil in a handwoven sling to the local chicken pox party.
  • Matthew Crawley would not have died in a car accident because he would have stayed by Lady Mary’s side (and cut the umbilical cord) during a water homebirth.
  • Cousin Isobel would start a placenta encapsulation business that gives a fresh start to recovering drug addict single mothers.
  • Lord Grantham would stubbornly refuse to allow Edith to start a beekeeping business with the homeschooled, unshaven, herb-chomping doula’s son.
  • The Dowager Countess would start a blog on which she spewed forth pithy opinions on co-sleeping, rainforest conservation and the no-poo method.


Of course, many elements of today’s crunchy green movement are throwbacks to earlier times. In that respect, Downton Abbey is already eco-friendly in several ways. Some examples include:

  • They line dry their laundry.
  • They use cloth diapers.
  • No bottled water!
  • No plastic containers or packaging!
  • They telecommute.
  • They use basic cleaning products like vinegar, baking soda and lemons.
  • The women likely wear reusable menstrual pads.

What are some other ways Downton Abbey is green?

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This post is featured on Frugal Days, Sustainable Ways.

 

Reading Fun on International Children’s Book Day

  By Donna DeForbes | April 2, 2013 - 6:00 am | , ,
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My sisters and I grew up with a love of books, and I seem to have instilled the same in Sofie. We’ve been reading together since she was three months old, and just this past year, she began to read on her own.

That makes me a little sad, because I know pretty soon she might hole up in her room with a book for hours. And not need me at all.

Apron strings aside, this is a wonderful thing. That she is so easily transported into another world through an author’s words and her imagination. I see years of reading joy ahead of Sofie.

childrens-books

And that’s what International Children’s Book Day (ICBD) is about. Recognized on April 2 since 1967 (the approximate birthday of Hans Christian Andersen), ICBD is meant to call attention to children’s books. Each year, a different country chooses the theme, the message and poster. For 2013, ICBD is sponsored by the United States with the theme Bookjoy Around the World.

While Sofie has progressed to Easy Readers and chapter books, we still love reading picture books (and I love writing them). In the library, we choose the books based on a favorite author, captivating illustrations or humorous, silly content. Here are a few of our recent favorite reads.

 

076362344XIsh by Peter H. Reynolds

We chose this sequel to “The Dot” for its intriguing title and found ourselves enchanted with a meaningful tale. In Ish, Ramon’s love for drawing is squashed by a careless, critical comment until, eventually, he learns that nothing is ever quite “right.” And that’s ok. This was such a great message for my perfectionist daughter (where does she get that from??), that I’ve added it to my list of books to buy.

 

last_wild_witchThe Last Wild Witch by Starhawk

We own this book and just reread it recently, possibly because being on the edge of spring sparks a little wildness in all of us. With beautiful, colorful illustrations, this cautionary nature tale reveals how the wisdom of children wins over a conservative town.

 

stuckStuck by Oliver Jeffers

This is just plain, silly fun about a boy who keeps throwing things into a tree (from a cat to a fireman to a house) to dislodge his stuck kite. We are fans of many of Jeffers’ stories as well as his hand-drawn style.

 


7cf179a742a1429577325b4845a69f0aPaulie Pastrami Achieves World Peace by James Proimos

A funny and touching story about a seven-year-old’s quest to achieve world peace by bedtime. With cupcakes. The tongue-in-cheek story shows how one person can have a big impact.

 

51TOt3sKnEL._SX285_Cowboy and Octopus by Jon Scieszka

We do love the silliest books. This set of mini stories weaves the tale of an unlikely friendship between a rough-around-the-edges cowboy and an eight-legged marine creature. Their knock-knock joke had Sofie rolling on the floor (or maybe it was my cowboy accent).

Whatever children’s books you enjoy reading, be sure to cozy up with your kids and read them today.

 

WORD BLOOPERS: The Funny, Misspoken Things Kids Say

  By Donna DeForbes | February 5, 2013 - 7:00 am | , ,
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I have a confession: My six-year-old daughter continues to say “callapitter” instead of “caterpillar,” and I do not correct her. It sounds so adorable… I don’t want it to stop!

There have been quite a few such misspoken words in her history, and they tug at my heart. Why? Most likely, it’s because they’re spoken in such earnest innocence. An innocence that will slip away all too soon. I know she’ll eventually come to the proper pronunciation of caterpillar, but I want to hold onto “callapitter” just a little bit longer.

Below are some images I created from this and other such “word bloopers” that have come out of Sofie’s mouth. Comment below with some of your child’s misspoken words, and I’ll add them to my graphic series.

Love Letter to My Daughter

  By Donna DeForbes | January 22, 2013 - 7:00 am | , ,
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My nana died a few weeks ago, and since then, I have encountered never-before-seen photos of her and clippings that offer new insights. It’s easy to forget that she was more than just a mother and grandmother. I wish I had known more about the other sides of Nana.

I’d like Sofie to have some of that insight after I die. I’m not trying to be morbid, honest. Nana’s death inspired me to repost an old Eco-Mothering entry that was originally inspired by the awesome blog, The Life of Dad.

I found writing this letter to be a connecting and fun exercise that still gets me teary-eyed when I read it. Maybe it will inspire others to write letters of their own.

Dear Sofie,

If I die tomorrow, I want you to know:

  • Yes, it’s true that we came up with your name after watching The DaVinci Code. The character named Sophie represented the Sacred Feminine. We just changed the spelling to Sofie to more literally reflect that.
  • I’ve always loved being outside. The earth restores me, and I’ve tried to restore the earth so that you may enjoy it too.
  • I think you are way smarter than either me or Daddy. Unfortunately, this will cause you a lifetime of distress, as the world is full of stupid people.
  • My favorite number is 8. My favorite color is teal. Picking favorites is fun.
  • As a child, I was shy and lacked confidence. Thankfully, you have not taken after me in that department… although your lack of patience has “mom” stamped all over it.
  • I always wanted to be the voiceover for a Sesame Street muppet.
  • When you were two, an Asian restaurant waitress told us that we should protect the frontal part of your brain because you’d exhibit some special power at age five. Even if she was a complete crackpot, know that inside you have all the special powers you’ll ever need.
  • I will never stop wanting to kiss your cheeks or smell your head.
  • I have always been passionate about writing, and I hope you don’t wait as long as I did to pursue your passions.
  • I love that you still sleep in our room.
  • I know you’re on the fence about Santa Claus. Believe whatever you want so long as you realize the true meaning of the holidays is family and giving. (And try to be eco-conscious about all those plastic decorations and giftwrap.)
  • My side of the family suffers from depression and anxiety. Don’t be afraid to seek help if you ever feel that way yourself.
  • I always knew a book or movie was really good if it made me cry.
  • When cleaning out my stuff, you’ll find boxes of unfinished stories and stacks of journals. Regarding the stories, feel free to sell any ideas that appear marketable. Regarding the journals, burn them. (And don’t let Daddy read them.) They contain only crazy rantings born of anger and depression.
  • I married Daddy for his sense of humor and for the solid foundation of friendship we had built. So—if you marry—marry a friend who makes you laugh.
  • After you were born, I really started taking care of my health—regular exercise and check-ups, eating good foods—because I finally realized that what I put into my body affected what came out. That’s why we made you eat whole grains and vegetables.
  • I love that you are a book lover like me. Keep reading.
  • I was terrible at learning languages and musical instruments. Hopefully, you will fare better. Capiche?
  • If you ever join the military, I will come back to haunt you.
  • It’s time you faced the truth about Barbie: she has fake hair, plastic skin and an empty head. You are so much cooler than Barbie could ever be.
  • I don’t believe in heaven, but I do believe my soul continues to live and that you can connect to me anytime you need to.
  • I want a big party every year on the anniversary of my death. Invite everyone you know. But please make sure Daddy doesn’t play show tunes.
  • We stopped after one kid because we didn’t think they could come any better than you.

I love you, Sofie, with every fiber of my being. You amazed me every day, and I am honored to have been a part of your life.

Love,
Mommy

My Green New Year’s Resolutions

  By Donna DeForbes | January 8, 2013 - 7:00 am | , ,
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I WILL NOT:

  • Be sucked into “post-holiday,” “going out of business” or similarly themed store sales, as it leads me to purchase excessively packaged, plastic, convenient crap that I really do not need.
  • Attend such sales without my reusable shopping bags. (I am human, after all.)
  • Patronize Chinese restaurants that use Styrofoam for takeout. Goodbye, Tong’s. (Although this might mean driving farther to find a more eco-friendly restaurant; does the increased carbon from fuel offset the non-biodegradable Styrofoam?)
  • Feel bad about re-gifting well-conditioned items. If I’m keeping stuff out of landfills and making someone happy, what does it matter?
  • Gorge out on meat every day. A few days of veggie meals means happy cows and pigs plus a happier planet. That being said, I will not give up bacon. Ever.
  • Lazily toss the empty toilet paper tube into the bathroom wastebasket because it’s easier, but instead remember that Sofie is undoubtedly lurking nearby and learning from my actions so it’s best to carry the tube to the kitchen recycle bin.
  • Waste money or trees on subscriptions to celebrity magazines, but get my Hollywood fix online or via the local library’s subscription.
  • Nag husband for being less eco minded than I would prefer. Sometimes marital harmony outweighs the health of the planet.
  • Waste money or car fuel on unnecessary doctor visits and prescription medicines before first trying natural healing methods. Case in point: infected toe from bizarre holiday incident. Treated by self both internally (raw garlic, Echinacea pills and yogurt containing lactobacillus acidophilus) and externally (hydrogen peroxide soak and tea tree oil application). Infection healed within a few days!
  • Make snarky comments about people who drive HUMMERS.
  • Throw away something without first trying to repair, recycle, repurpose or donate it.
  • Obsess over how to monetize this green blog and make it go viral, but instead enjoy the blogging process and allow it to happen organically.

I WILL:

Blake Shelton on “The Voice”

  • See if budget allows for switching to organic wine and beer.
  • Try to buy all of Sofie’s clothes and shoes for the year at community swaps or second-hand stores.
  • Spend more evenings being creative and less watching TV in order to cut down energy usage, radiation exposure and fantasies about Blake Shelton.
  • Borrow and share more resources instead of buying. (e.g.: our neighbor’s lawn mower, which we happily use in exchange for craft beer.)
  • Only buy products packaged in easily recycled #1, 2 or 5 plastics, even if it means passing up that economy pack of chocolate-covered raisins.
  • Use goodsearch for my go-to search engine as it’s a relief to know that my search for “funny fart jokes” means that somewhere a tree is being planted or a child is being fed.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!