This is a guest post by Madoline Hatter.
During the formative years of your children’s lives, you have much influence in how they view the world. In order to embrace certain attitudes or prevent others, much can be done on your behalf to help your kids develop a positive outlook on life. Using positive reinforcement over negative discipline can shift the way your child looks at any given task.
Negativity Breeds Negativity
When you focus on negative outcomes regarding misbehavior, the child’s focus is on that negative aspect of life. Too many negative thoughts can be detrimental to a child’s development as he or she learns to always look at the bad side. Instead of respecting you as parents, your children could fear you due to the disciplinary actions that could ensue for any given rule that is broken.
Focus on the Positive
Positive reinforcement doesn’t have to mean that everything is “peachy” and no disciplinary actions are required. It means that you focus more on the positive aspects of your child’s life as opposed to the negative actions he or she has taken in the past. This could mean:
- Praising his or her accomplishments.
- Not retelling experiences that might humiliate him or her.
- Rewarding for a job well done.
You don’t have to spend money in order to reward your child. Rewards can be as simple as allowing the child to decide what’s for dinner or dessert, or what the family should do for the weekend. The “reinforcement” should center on something that motivates your child to succeed. If he or she enjoys movies, a reward for a positive behavior could be a visit to the Redbox booth. It is all about engaging your child in what he or she finds appealing.
When our daughters first received their “big-girl beds,” it was a chore getting them to sleep in their own room at night. A method we implemented was using stars on a calendar. For every night they stayed in their own bed, each girl received a star. At the end of the month, each child received a dollar for every star to spend at the toy store. Since we only counted weekdays, $20 per month on a toy didn’t seem extravagant to us.
Self-esteem Boost
By shifting your focus to a positive one, your child is likely to be less stressed about pleasing you. When there is less fear in their daily lives and less focus on “what will happen if I fail?” children experience improved self-esteem and accomplish many feats including a more trusting relationship with you, the parent.
Positive reinforcement has nothing to do with spoiling a child. It is simply a different way to approach childhood development. It is a parenting method that encourages positive behavior.
About the Author: Madoline Hatter is a freelance writer and blog junkie from ChangeOfAddressForm.com. She and her three children love to garden organically, raise chickens, hike and go camping. You can reach her at: [email protected].
