This past weekend I came down with a bad case of the Grumpies. I can blame the heat, the full moon, my seasonal allergies, the manuscript rejection that arrived in the mail. (And I did.) But the reasons are irrelevant.
What matters is how my daughter suffered from it. I acted in ways that should put me in the Mommy Hall of Shame. While I did intersperse some hugs and “I love you”s, I felt my cantankerous and explosive moods dominate. While such parenting moods are inevitable, it’s helpful to be armed with knowledge before being afflicted.
Photo by Shardayyy
ABOUT THE GRUMPIES
The Grumpies is an invisible condition that breeds on negative energy. Common among kids and adults alike, it is especially prevalent among stressed-out mothers who tend to put their needs last. Signs include headaches, fatigue, frustration and pessimism. Unfortunately, the Grumpies often goes unnoticed until it is too late.
Note: The Grumpies does not jive well with ecological living. When stricken with this condition, the last thing one wants to do is weed the vegetable garden, take out the compost, cook whole grains from scratch or enjoy a family walk in ninety-degree weather. More commonly, the Grumpy-infected person prefers to crank up the carbon-emitting air conditioner and feast on empty-calorie snacks that come with excessive packaging.
SYMPTOMS
A mild case of the Grumpies may result in:
- Tossing out exaggerated sighs over unending questions
- Making snarky comments about messy rooms and food requests
- Stomping through the house and slamming doors in a way reminiscent of your teenage years
More serious cases, like mine, often include:
- Yelling unnecessarily
- Issuing dictatorial commands to your family
- Freaking out because someone didn’t close the refrigerator
- Harboring hateful thoughts
- Bursting into tears at the sight of toothpaste on your shirt
- Wishing you lived under a rock where nobody could ever find you, especially those who know how to say “Mom-my!” in a whiny voice
TREATMENT
If you catch them early, you can usually stem the tide. However, the Grumpies have a way of snowballing. Little frustrations accrue and you draw more negative things into your vortex until suddenly you are a mass of negativity yourself and it takes much more effort to extricate yourself from those Grumpy claws than seems worth it. Much easier to just sink into their miserable depths.
Are they contagious? Yes. The Grumpies are frequently transferred from family member to family member. Not only was I grumpy this weekend, but then my husband got sucked in and of course that left Sofie rather defenseless. Since the Grumpies can go viral like this, antibiotics won’t help. Either will alcohol or food, although I tried both.
The Grumpies are best treated with immediate self-care. Taking time and space for yourself, if possible, is the best antidote. Breathe slowly from the chest. (Grumpies cause shallow breathing through the nose.) Relax. Rest. Meditate. Read a book. Soak in the bath. Do NOT just go ahead with your to-do list for the day. You will not be productive and symptoms will likely get worse. (Read 31 more ideas on turning a bad mood around while parenting.)
Once you have reached a more balanced state, you can reconnect with your child and family and make any amends.
Caution: Nobody parents well all the time. Do not berate yourself for occasional slips into the Mommy or Daddy Hall of Shame. Such negative self-criticism will only cause you to slide dangerously back into Grumpy territory.
PREVENTION
When Sofie was about 10 pounds lighter, I’d turn her upside down to shake the Grumpies out of her until she giggled with glee. Unfortunately, this doesn’t usually work for adults.
I asked my five-year-old how she handles the Grumpies these days.
“Once I was grumpy, and so I found a toy that I liked and started playing with it, and it made me happy. So I played with it for a while. Then I found out we were having couscous for dinner and I got grumpy again. So I rested and read a book until I got happy. So what you should do, Mom, is when you’re grumpy, do something that makes you happy.”
Seems like sound advice to me. Might be about time for that nature walk.
Fun Fact: After writing this post, I discovered a band called The Grumpies.
This post is featured at Thank Your Body Thursdays.
Nice healthy point you have shared on Grumpies. In this you have taken great healthy point to prevent bad mommy moods. Thank you.