With Sofie’s third birthday approaching, we’re hearing lots of talk from our daughter about cake and parties. Big change from the last two years when she hardly knew what a birthday was. Now she’s been indoctrinated through invitations to friends’ parties where cake, ice cream and presents are the norm. This is not what we want our norm to be, but how do we tell her this without crushing her?
My husband would like to honor Sofie’s birthday by taking a trip down memory lane: telling her our stories, sharing video, photos and poems from her birth. I like that. It’s personal; it speaks to the real meaning behind a birthday. But what about the fun factor?
I also wondered how other countries celebrate birthdays and discovered a range of traditions. Unfortunately, the ones relating to Sofie’s ancestry (Filipino, Irish, Italian and Scottish) involve either physical duress (bumps, smacks and ear pulls) or trips to Mass. Hardly inspiring.
So, why do we celebrate birthdays anyway? It seems our ancestors were a highly superstitious bunch, believing themselves to be hunted by evil spirits, particularly when undergoing a life change such as turning a year older. Having a party with loud singing and raucous friends could keep the evil spirits at bay. And while people didn’t routinely bring presents, it was extra fortuitous for the birthday honoree if they did.
Now, we don’t believe in evil spirits, but we do love a party! So I think we can meet Sofie’s desire for one, on a much smaller scale. I once read that the child’s age should determine the number of guests (i.e.: invite 3 kids for the third birthday), which seems manageable to me. Throw in a handful of family and close adult friends and voila!
Photo by ND Strupler/Flickr
However, I will be as eco-conscious as possible about this. Electronic invitations, reusable dishware, cloth napkins, and no disposable decorations. Nature can be our décor as the kids enjoy Sofie’s outdoor swing set, and adults mingle with drinks and music. Perhaps we’ll make a project of creating a reusable birthday banner from cloth. (check out these other green décor ideas.)
And then we come to the presents. Sofie has plenty of toys, plenty of plastic, and we’re trying to rail against the rampant consumerism of such holidays. No need to add more to our closets, much less the landfills.
Now might be the time to build in some lessons on social justice. Teach Sofie that so many kids in the world have so little compared to her; encourage her to give to them (guests can donate to a cause in lieu of gifts). She’s already really good at understanding the concept of “too much” stuff. When we picked up a princess scooter at a yard sale, she generously offered to give her old bike to the neighbor boy. And she helped me go through her old toys and videos, selecting which ones to give to her baby cousin since Sofie has outgrown them.
Ooh, but my creative juices are flowing now. I want to tie this party together with a theme, and, with my daughter’s current princess obsession, maybe I can introduce Sofie and her friends to some real life princesses such as Princess Diana — who was devoted to causes like AIDS awareness and removing buried land mines in third world countries. Guests could donate to an AIDS organization. The kids can dress up as princesses and listen to one of many Princess Di children’s stories I’ve found at the library. Who says green can’t be fun?
- Eco-friendly birthday party ideas
- Meaningful gifts
