I’ve been working on an article introducing teens to Feng Shui. As a longtime follower, I know a lot about the ancient Chinese art. Yet, in doing research for the article, I am reminded that my latest household arrangements have not consciously incorporated feng shui practices.
In fact, as I cast an eye around the place, I am confronted with a number of feng shui faux pas: Sofie’s messy bedroom is probably contributing to her recent bout of sleep problems; the sharp corner of my dresser is a poison arrow shooting me in my sleep; creaky door hinges are likely keeping money away and — OMG! What’s that plant doing in my heath corner? It has prickly leaves, for crying out loud! I didn’t pay attention when I received the plant; I am really off my game.
My problem now is that the feng shui-focused part of me is butting heads with the ecologically-minded part of me. Take these examples:
Feng Shui Me wants to turn the heat up so that I can work from home surrounded by good chi and not resort to wearing gloves while typing. Eco Me tells me to put on another sweater and to think about the devastating effects our careless use of oil has on the earth.
Feng Shui Me orders lucky talismans from an online feng shui marketplace. Eco Me scorns the excess packaging and the undoubtedly toxic chemicals that give these objects their glossy sheen.
Feng Shui Me says, “Get rid of all this clutter. Out the old, in with the new!” Eco Me says, “What?! And add to the landfill? You’d better keep that stuff. You never know when that wickless, melted candle or broken towel bar could be repurposed.” To which Feng Shui Me replies, “Repurpose THIS!”
And, well, it gets pretty ugly from there. Sometimes the conflict sends me reaching for my aromatherapy oils (placed auspiciously in the health corner) or a large glass of wine (the eco-savvy boxed kind).
Deep within all this I think there is a lesson. And it’s not about following the specific rules of feng shui or being ecologically nitpicky. It’s about balance. That is what those battling parts of me are really seeking. Feng shui is, after all, about balancing the energy of a space. Being green is about putting back what I take from the earth.
Photo by aeu04117/Flickr
This balance also applies to parenting — at least, this was my personal thunderbolt midway through this blog. Lately, Sofie and I have been in much conflict whether it’s about finishing her dinner, hurrying up so we can move to my schedule or arguing yet again about the effectiveness of pants versus really warm tights in this winter weather.
I see now (with some gentle prodding from my husband) that I’ve been in dominating mother mode, pushing Sofie toward certain rules that make me feel good and expressing my concerns through overbearing statements. The misbalance we’ve been experiencing is due to me not giving my daughter a chance to comfortably exert herself: her needs and her preferences. And of course I want her to grow up believing that those things matter.
So I am yet again humbled as a parent. And I begin this week determined to strike that balance in our relationship. Messy bedroom be damned.
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