A Monster Lie: Dealing With Nighttime Fears

I have never believed in monsters. As a child, I slept in my own room, door shut, in complete darkness. My sister Karen embodied all the fears: darkness, being alone and monsters hiding in her closet. Sofie has followed in her footsteps.

I thought we had bypassed the issue when, at age three, Sofie’s only fear seemed to be Disney films. (I had never noticed before how evil characters and scary music lurked everywhere.) Now she can handle most kids’ movies but, once the sun sets, refuses to walk a dark hallway to go to the bathroom. If we are all downstairs watching TV, she will not go upstairs by herself, even if lights are on.

The darkness surrounding the house is somehow too unsettling. And now monsters have appeared on the scene. Their apparent presence keeps her from entering her bedroom at night, much less sleeping there.

So, although I once promised myself I’d never do this, I told Sofie about Monster Spray.

Monster Spray was my mother’s invention. Mom had a small spray bottle of apple-scented air freshener she’d squirt in my sister’s bedroom at night. Somehow this eased Karen’s fears, and she slept better believing the spray kept her monsters at bay.

Sofie quickly latched onto this idea and asked me to buy some. I told her I’d pick up a bottle on my next trip to Target. Later on, I realized that would never work. My astute five-year-old would inevitably want to see the Monster Spray section the next time we were in Target together.

So I had to deepen the lie. I told her Target no longer sells Monster Spray and the saleswoman suggested I buy it online. Two days later when Sofie came home from school, I showed her a bottle of spray that had “arrived in the mail” that day.

In reality, I purchased Air Scense from Whole Foods. If I was going to be spraying something in my daughter’s room every night, it wasn’t going to be laden with chemicals. Air Scense uses essential oils (I chose lavender for its sleep-inducing qualities), is not tested on animals, comes in a recyclable container and is even semi-local (Danbury, Connecticut). Then, using some clip art and my graphic art skills, I created a Monster Spray label.

I held my breath as Sofie studied the label. The monster on it did not look like her monsters, she informed me.

I assured her that was just the monster spokesperson and that the spray worked on all types of monsters. She seemed sold, but I was left to wonder about this web of untruths I was spinning for the “good” of my child.

Would it have been better to insist that monsters do not exist and that she should just get over her fears? What happens when she realizes that Mommy concocted a fake spray?

I also worried about the spray becoming a crutch, however that seems not to be the case. Instead, it has sparked Sofie’s imagination to create a friendly monster. This monster is blue and female and helps keep the mean monsters away and, sometimes, Sofie whispers to me, the friendly blue monster climbs into bed with her. Well, okay then.

While Monster Spray has comforted Sofie enough to begin each night in her own room, she does not remain there for long. And she won’t let me borrow her blue friend to scare away the Daddy-like, blanket-stealing monster in my bed. But I no longer worry about addressing her problem with what I once viewed as a ridiculous pack of lies. Rather, I chose to enter my daughter’s world and meet her at her current level of beliefs. This, I think, reinforces the trust in our relationship. It says to her: “I believe you. Your feelings are valid. Let me help.”

Overall, it’s not very long that kids remain in this enchanted realm of imagination. All too soon we trade in our original stories for tired television plotlines and celebrity drama. So why not believe in monsters, friendly or otherwise, for as long as it lasts?

And if you decide to invest in some (Air Scense) Monster Spray, you can download my monster spray label.